Sunday, September 9, 2012

Under the Influence

Before my post just a few comments.

In my last post I recounted what I thought were the catalysts for my sub side. Rocketdave’s comments regarding forced fem only surfacing in adulthood were interesting despite having a subside from early on. RD doesn’t say when his CD side emerged. I wonder how usual/unusual that is for people like us. An idea for one of Belinda’s excellent surveys? I think everyone has a fantasy of some sort and no matter how well developed or busy your social life, if it’s in you it will eventually surface. I suppose that’s the reason for this and my last post, to try and map out how and when my CD and Sub side emerged and see if this resonates with others.

Mandy’s comment regarding her parents wanting a girl influencing her  own direction also chimes with me and I believe charted my course and others also.



Under the Influence


   For me my growing interest in all things feminine and my sub tendencies merged once I hit puberty but did not begin dressing until late teens early twenties. At this stage my submissive side was beginning to take root, I was fast outgrowing  the girls comics which triggered my sub side and natural curiosity  meant I  was looking to expand my horizons. Puberty meant an even greater interest in the feminine and lingerie advertisements in women’s magazines began the next phase of my journey, I’m sure many of you had a similar beginning. These in turn led me to a fascination with women’s fashion and lingerie, specifically old fashioned foundation wear, corsets, girdles etc.  and again the focus of my attention was pre 60’s.  

A fascination with women’s fashion? Even at this age I knew this was not normal for a boy but it mattered little and on some level I must have known that this was only one side of my personality. Little did I know what I was fast becoming nor did I care, was too young to worry about it. Soon, drooling over pictures of women in their lingerie was not enough and I wanted to get as close to the real thing as possible and where better to do this than in the movies.

As a nascent CD the thing that really hooked me was the glamour and style of female movie stars particularly in Hollywood’s Golden Age of the 30’s,40’sand 50’s. I think for most CD’s fabrics such as satins, silks, taffeta etc. are our holy grail. Almost every Sub CD story/fantasy contains a reference to these or other similar materials but as males we  are unlikely to get to wear them until we crossdress – a long way off for me at the time – so we have to be content to fantasise about them.  At least this was my experience as an adolescent. The movies of this era had  stars like Joan Crawford, Norma Shearer, Vivian Leigh, Ingrid Bergman, Bette Davis, Ava Gardner and others too numerous to mention here, dressed in the most beautiful gowns fashioned from  these luxurious fabrics. I was hooked. I could watch these films and transport myself into their world, imagine what it would feel like to wear such ultra-feminine clothes.

 I have no doubt that these films with their elegantly dressed women attended to by subservient maids dressed in formal uniforms were fundamental in the further development of my sub/CD persona. A few of them even had a proto domme which added an extra dimension; the 1940 version of Rebecca is a good example. The heroine( Joan Fontaine) plays a timid young woman and after marrying her new husband is introduced to her new life as mistress of a great house and immediately comes face to face with the formidable housekeeper in charge of the domestic staff - the  proto domme - Mrs Danvers( great performance by Judith Anderson). I think Mrs Danvers may have been my first fantasy domme, it probably helped that a lesbian relationship with the eponymous Rebecca was hinted at, not surprising as the book’s author, Daphne du Maurier was rumoured to have had a lesbian affair. Mrs Danvers totally intimidates and dominates Joan Fontaine in one scene insisting she must have a lady’s maid even though JF doesn’t want one. Silly girl!

Undoubtedly the movie which had the most influence me was the 1939 version of The Women. A film with no men and ticked all the boxes mentioned above plus a lengthy scene of a lingerie model parading in an extremely constricting corselette. I have included a picture from this scene as well as one of a maid attending her mistress’s mother before she retires. I’m curious to know if this pushes any readers hot buttons as Bea refers to them. In another life I have captioned these for some sites and it may be interesting to see what readers come up with as their captions.


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