Friday, April 29, 2011

Much Ado - about bugger all, really

  My Birthday today.  I've had so many that is usn't worth mentioning, but my wife got me a card with a message that I felt should be passed on:


God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do . . . and the eyesight to tell the difference!

I thought it great!

I'd also like to talk about specious reasoning.

Rocketdave commented recently (not critically) about the specious reasoning that I had some of my dommes use in my stories.  I took a stab at answering his comment, but I kept thinking about it and came up with a little more.

As I've admitted before, I'm into a male being humiliated by a female - and the more humiliation, the better.  Now, let's suppose that a wife can convince her husband that black is white - and admit that she's right?  That's kinda silly - but she is exacting a form of dominance over the poor husband - is that not correct?

Take a man being physically forced into going over his wife's knees - then spanked soundly.  That is a 'physical' domination.  But suppose, she talks him into admitting that he deserves to be spanked - and that it is all for his own good?  That's 'mental' domination.  Now, while he's been spanked,  suppose that he smiles, kicks his legs and lets out delighted little squeals as well?  I think that our poor little sissy has been dominated properly.

Another piece of idiotic reasoning I enjoyed using.  The wife has 'discovered' some sissyish tendencies in her husband - but says that she wants him to be a REAL man!  Wants him to perform in some 'masculine' manner - that she defines.  The poor dear cannot 'quite' perform as she wants.  To help him - she has him start to wear some feminine article  - but suppose he still can't meet her expectations?  Maybe something MORE feminine will help him arouse his male beast? 

But now just supose that this works.  Makes the poor thing rebel?  THEN?  It's obvious that he's reverting to some old masculine trait - and this will never do!  He'll obviously need to dress or act more like a wee girl to get him 'balanced'!  Into a skirt - or a pair of panties!  There is absolutely no way of winning for the poor bugger

It's just another instance of a male accepting an obviously-flawed piece of reasoning.  By doing this, he is admitting subservience.  Lot's of FUN!

So the poor bugger is damned if he does - and damned if he doesn't.

But that's my thoughts for the day.


Thursday, April 28, 2011


I wanted to add a permanent link to Xaxasissy - it's an extremely interesting page - but I'll be double-dipped damned if I can find a way to do it properly.  My most recent attempts show above.  It's not what I want, but I figure it better than nothing.

I also wanted to advertise my page.  Who knows - I may sell a story or two!

Friday, April 22, 2011


I don't know why it's taken me so long to discuss something that's near and dear to my heart - well, other places if the truth be known.

I'm submissive to females. Not submissive to males in the slightest, nor does that facet enter my fantasy life at all.  But I've been aware of an obvious conundrum in my daydreams for years.  A large portion of any personal fantasy involves being dressed up - but yet if I'm being punished or humiliated by being dressed in feminine clothes? Where can the punishment be if I'm being dressed in the gender of those I see as being superior? I read years ago that the weak always want to dress in the uniform, or clothes, of the strong - so my mental need to be dominated doesn't seem to match anything that makes sense.  As the king of Siam said?  "It's a puzzlement!"

But in talking about spanking. 

I've written a lot of stories in my life that deal with relationships between a male and a female.  A constant theme behind almost all of those tales is the male gradually abdicating any power that he has within the relationship to the female.  In doing so, he is gradually transformed into the appearance and behaviour of the weakest sex.

An apron is a rough indication of practical servitude.  But the prettier or frillier that this apron is - the more is the association with femininity.  So a male, being dressed - or willingly putting on a feminine apron is indicating that he's accepting that he's a mental inferior to his female partner.

This is all well and good.  But being spanked is a totally different thing.  Maybe putting an apron on is a temporary thing - where a spanking is an acceptance of a complete role reversal, and damn near permanent.  I mean - a man can wear even the prettiest of aprons for a time and this can be forgotten after a period of time.  But let his wife put him over her knee - then spank him?  I doubt if he can ever act the male in front of her again.  His goose is cooked!

To my mind?  Spanking is 'La Creme de la Creme' of subjugation and what makes it so wonderful is the complexity of the facts behind it.  The woman can range in age (though I've never been comfortable with the idea of an adult male being spanked by a pre-teen female.  There, I prefer her to have the power to give him a whack with a spatula or wooden spoon - something like that).  I especially like a situation where a male has a dithery mother - but gets involved with a dominatrix who sees this and dislikes his assumptions of superiority - so has him go over his mother's knees - thereby accepting her authority.  The poor dolt in this position acyually IS superior to his mother - but has accepted the position that all women, regardless of capability, are superior to him.

Then there is the level of the spanking.   I thoroughly enjoy it when a male is actually talked over the knees of a woman with logical reasoning.  She doesn't want to hurt him - but as long as he's accepting the fact that she's more powerful - shouldn't he have his pants taken down?  Then?  As he's willing to assume the position generally taken by the weak female - wouldn't lacy panties be more appropriate?  Now?  Doesn't he appreciate the fact that she's not hurting him, when it's obvious that she could?  A nice smile from him would show that?  Maybe posing for a camera shot?  Wouldn't a garter belt, lacy stockings and high heels make a GREAT photo?  This can go on and on!

Then, he can be disciplined for being naughty.  This, naturally, involves a more physical spanking - and while he is easily held in place, he squirms, howls, and cries for forgiveness - with lots of tears. (Nice if his face has been made up and the tear marks are highly visible).  This type of spanking is probably the easiest to write about - though I must admit that I prefer the more complex situations.

I'm not sure if it qualifies - but one of my favorite situations is where our hero (?) is with another group of sissy males, being trained into becoming a ladies maid or something like that.  It is usually the first night of their training and they are all bedded seperately in a large room, but already wearing feminine nightwear - curlers, that kind of thing.

Then their 'trainer' appears early in the morning hours and gets them all awake, then herded into the center of the room.  She has a cane and proceeds to whack our poor sissies as they all scream and run helplessly about in total disorder with their lingerie floating about them, discovering that the door is locked and they are completely at the mercy of this dominant woman. She enjoys this thoroughly of course.

I think I've always preferred the woman to ascend to the power position in a relationship by mental strength - but must admit that the physical element in a male being disciplined by a woman is most attractive.  Turns me on (Well, used to as a matter of fact!).


Monday, April 18, 2011

The Poly Household and Types of Maids

I am what you would call a late bloomer. Most of my adventures have taken place over the last few years. Currently besides being invited to serve at local teas, I also am part of a poly family. That can mean many things, but in my case it means that I have special status in a household that is run by a woman who we call Goddess or Mistress A. She lives in the house with her submissive husband, and then there are a number of us who visit at times, particularly we visit for parties and social events. There is a dominant T-Girl who has a special relationship with Mistress, I'll call her Mistress B, and other t-girls and a few Women. I am happy to have a special relationship with the Mistress, where I have responsibilities for cooking, seeing to snacks and meal service, and occasionally supervising other sissy maids who may be serving at the house. That role has given me an opportunity to see how a number of my "sisters" interact with the Dommes and Mistresses. It is from one perspective an elaborate role play that we all enjoy, and which allows us to meet other people, and to live out our fantasies a bit. this type of arrangement I think is only possible because the internet and particularly social media have allowed people to meet and interact in safe ways, that have expanded the boundaries for people. Before I ever was involved with role playing in person, I experienced role playing on site like Mrs Silk. I think of the poly family as an activity like community theatre which allows people to express themselves. In my role in the household, I have had an opportunity to observe a number of Dominant Women, and a number of submissives and particularly sissy girls. One thing which is interesting to me, is the different types of sissy girls who come to the house to help at dinners and parties. I would classify them into 4 types.

nervous newbie A sissy of this type, comes early but doesn't make the full effort to dress their maid's part completely. They are easily distracted, obviously not used to appearing in short maid's uniform in in front of others. Because they are distracted, they aren't always the most helpful maids, and distracted sloppy looking maids are not what Mistress and her guests enjoy.

bratty barbie This is a sissy that I have seen more than once. The sissy is usually well groomed, and can function as a competent maid performing her duties, but she likes to make mistakes or even directly disobey commands. Mistress can see right through bratty barbie. This sissy is trying to be punished. She so craves to be treated sternly, spanked or put in a corner. Missy is often disappointed in her expectations, and not invite back.

victoria the vain A girl of this type is certain to be made up, dressed and coiffed wonderfully. Everyone is excited that a beautiful maid will be helping out that evening. Time to work! but where is victoria? The girl is hard to find, lost in bedroom or bathroom in the ecstasy of her own reflection.

miss perfect Dressed and made up nicely, always properly aproned, quick to attend to the task at hand. Attentive to Mistress and Her guests. the girl's service is a delight, as Mistress has told me more than once. she may even be rewarded for good service this evening with a spanking for some small oversight that Mistress has noticed.

My advice to prospective maids. None of us can be perfect of course, but we should try since our service reflects on Mistress and the household.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Few Things

I still haven't figured out how to get permanent displays of good web pages or blogs - so until I do, want to mention them this way.  Xaxasissy is the first - a fascinating blog.  If you haven't tried it yet - go and have a look.  The next is

I got put onto the above page by one of my readers - they make short TV (and other types) of movies.  I can't speak for the quality of their films as I'm a frugal Scot who doesn't get much fun any more - but?  From what I see, their prices are reasonable.  I wrote one of the ladies (Claire) who runs it - offering to be a scriptwriter, but it appears that they just work from short themes - and turn the actors loose.

They look nice a decent outfit - and I get so bloody tired of some of those TV type places that want to charge an arm and a leg for bugger all, that I felt like talking about them a wee bit.  If anyone does order a film from them?  I'd appreciate hearing what you thought.

That being said?  A general comment on my use of the word "bugger".  I was born and brought up in a working class area of Glasgow.  I was evacuated for four years of WW2 to a farm in the NorthEast of Scotland.  Dispelling any romantic ideas that one may have of farm life?  The language there is obscene, to say the least - and I swore like a trooper by the age of ten.  Obscenities and the whole bit.  Between the ages of 16 and 21 I worked as an apprentice in a factory.  I then spent two years working on ships as a marine engineer.  If anyone thinks that my language is/was ladylike?  They might wish to reconsider.

Now - I didn't learn where 'bugger' came from until I came to the U.S.  Up until then, I'd say that it was an extremely mild swear word - something like "A pain in the ass" - about that level.  It also had the meaning of "Tired" - so that when I said I was "All buggered up"?  It did NOT mean that I'd just had a homosexual experience.  I was just very tired is all.  I know that it isn't used a lot in this country - except within the original meaning - but old habits die hard.

So, I do wish to apologise to my American friends - my use of the word indicates something very minor - it was not intended in any nasty way.  I was talking to my doc yesterday (He's English born) and mentioned my drop in popularity for using 'bugger'.  He laughed - said he'd gone through the same thing here!

Oh yeah!  Saw that comment quoting Rabbie Burns!  (I hope that all you non-Scots realize that there is only ONE country in this whole world whose National hero is a poet!  Scotland!  (I dislike flag waving patriotism - but couldn't refuse the chance to say a good word for my country!)

On that subject, I seem to be getting more comments - keep it UP!  Makes this blog more interesting!

And just in case?  I didn't find Kitten's inability to read as funny.  What I found funny was an adult's lack of capability in remembering how to pronounce ONE simple word in a foreign language.  (I'm saying this because my writing may not have explained it properly.)

A hot button!  A thing that used to turn me on a LOT - was the idea of having my hair done into a feminine style - especially by PINK rollers! (Don't ask me why other colors did nothing much for me - they just HAD to be pink - and preferably plastic!).  Then I got a shock one night when working late.  I was working on the ninth floor of a ten story building.  Probably about ten at night - and apart from the cleaning people I was probably alone.  It was a very old building in L.A. and the elevator was an antique.  It arrived just after I pressed the down button - and the doors opened up to reveal one large, black, male - with his head covered in rows of pink, plastic, rollers.  He was one of the cleaning crew and looked nice enough, but I wasn't about to take any chances.

If you think I giggled or made any comment other than "Hi" - you must be daft.  Luckily, nobody else got on, so our descent was about as quick as that old elevator could manage.  I don't think I ever laughed, even when I got to the parking lot.  But I do remember breathing a huge sigh of relief.  I'm not renowned for being tactful - but it's amazing how the thought of being slaughtered can increase the amount of tact that one has.

OH!  This has happened to me a few times and I thought I'd pass on a word of warning to any of you that ever pay for a download through Paypal.  Be EXTREMELY observant of the e-mail address you use.  Paypal do not seem to check its validity.  Last week I got an order for a book. Sent it as a 'reply'. It bounced.

Now, normally someone who sells downloads has a problem.  He can go back to Paypal - but they only show the address they've been shown.  Luckily, this time, I saw what was an obvious error - and sent a query to what I thought iut should be - and it worked.  BUT? If you've ever ordered some download - and didn't get it? Check your ordering transaction again - it may not be the vendors fault at all.

But that's enough for me today.  I'm SURE there was something else I wanted to cover, but I'm damned if I can remember it.  Maybe next time.

Hugs to you all

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A Wee Bit Humor

I tend to think that TV'S and Cross Dressers tend to take things too seriously.  (I was the same until I got old enough to realize that I wasn't some kind of pervert - a thing that had made me take life very seriously).

Anyhow?  I thought I'd throw this in.

I was a reasonably successful writer at the time - but saw a market for CD's.  Didn't have any kind of clue as to what I needed, but found that there was a recording studio fairly close to where I lived  (Not TOO close - I was still in the closet) so that was one major issue taken care of.

I wanted someone to read a few of my stories.  Naturally, I wanted a female voice - one that could pass off as a dominatrix.  I forget how I advertised (keep in mind that this was some years ago and though we had Internet, it was nothing like what we have today) but I let it be known that I wanted anyone who auditioned to make me a short tape, so that I could hear their voices.

I did get one or two tapes - nothing special.  Then I got an e-mail from a girl who maintained that she had a good voice, but didn't have a recorder.  She gave me her number so that I could call and hear her speak.  I did so - and she had a PERFECT voice for me - low and husky - and I've always been a sucker for women with voices like that.  So I hired her to meet me at the recording studio.  (I haven't mentioned that I'd already spoken to them and said that I wanted a CD made of some erotic material - they didn't give a damn - I was paying them - all that was important I guess).

I wanted about 90 minutes and had picked some stories that fitted just nicely into that time frame.  I forget all of them except for the first - a short story called Ansel and Gretl - a rip off on an old fairy tale, with the theme being of an American boy and girl, hitch hiking their way around Europe.  He gambles all their money - and they end up broke and starving applying for charity in an all-girl school in Germany.

The female owner of the school is a dominatrix who takes them both in - then proceeds to feminize him. I give the theme to demonstrate why the use of the word "Frau" is commonplace throughout.

So everything is set up.  The girl - woman - is in her early thirties and quite attractive.  Says that she sings with a small band (which I believe - she has a great voice) but hasn't made any money in a long time.  Isn't offended by the story material so I give her what is to be read and let her read it for a while to get familiar.  She isn't any kind of dominatrix - says her singing name is "Kitten" - and I've never heard anyone use the term "cool" as often as she does, but she's pleasant and I figure that any audience I get won't know that she's not a dominatrix, but I don't care very much

I then sit in what I guess is the "Control Room" with the engineer.  Kitten goes into a padded room that has the microphone and starts to read a few passages to let the engineer set volume and other controls.  We can hear her just fine.

As I said, her voice is tremendous.  But something jars on me immediately - something I haven't even THOUGHT of.  Her reading capability is suspect at best.  She is on the slow side and stumbles over some words.  I talk with the engineer.  He feels that it might take some time, but we can delete any major pauses - and all three of us can work on errors of pronunciation, one word at a time.  I'm not that happy but decide to go ahead.

Then we run into the word 'Frau'.  I'm not German - but I've seen enough movies and Tv to know that the pronunciation is "Frown" with no 'n'.  Ketten says "Fro".  We can communicate with her, so I interrupt and tell her how the word should be pronounced.  She gets it.  A little while later, the word comes up again. This time she says "Free".  I get her saying it correctly again.  She may say it correctly the next time - but it isn't too long before she comes to it again - and this time it's 'Fry"

I correct it again - but turn off her sound so that she can't hear me. "Christ!" I said. "We've had Free, Fry, and Fro.  Where the hell is FRUM - as in Free Fry Fro Frum - I smell the blood  - -"  and that got us both giggling.

It wasn't long before she screwed up the pronunciation again.  By this time, the engineer and I are rolling in our seats - and I finally had to connect the sound and stop the whole thing.

I honestly paid her - I was so embarrassed that I felt shamed for a poor lassie that couldn't read - well maybe at 3rd grade level?  She had never heard us laugh, but I think she knew.

Through a TV friend in the movie business, I was able to find a real domme - Samantha - who we christened 'Mistress Viking'.  She was a big lass and I took her out to lunch.  (I almost creamed when she decided that my order was unhealthy and ordered something else for me).  We became friends, though just about all we do now is exchange Christmas Cards.

I really don't mean to knock Kitten - my own carelesness set up the whole thing - but I had just never thought to check that someone could READ!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Wish I knew what I was doing - and Something on Accupuncture!

This is not how I want to do this - but to my readers?  Go and look at Xaxasissy's blog.  It is fascinating - and there are all sorts of posts there!  (Listen up you buggers!  Start making comments!).  Anyhow?  I was deeply complimented last night when I saw a copy of my story - "The Two Denny's".  I can't tell who put it up there - but it still felt like being published for the very first time.  Thank you dear, whoever you are!

I want to talk about accupuncture for the rest of this post - so if it doesn't appeal to you?  I'd suggest that you move on.

I don't want to go into details but I was pretty damn sick with blood clots almost a year ago right now.  It was bad enough that I had to be airlifted to a bigger hospital than exists in my small town.  I was in hospital for two weeks - then a skilled nursing facility for one week - to teach me to walk again.  I knew I was having trouble but when they said I'd take almost a year to walk properly again?  I said they were full of shit.

They weren't.  It got so bad that I couldn't walk any distance worth a damn.  Stairs or slopes just about killed me. My doc - who I think highly of - just shakes his head.  Two days ago - fed up with this mess I made an appointment with an accupuncturist.  After getting information from me, he put me on a table for thirty minutes or so.

When I got home, I did my 'standard' walk.  I was disappointed,  I felt great starting out - but was almost as buggered as I usually was - maybe 10% better?  But there were other things that felt much better - so I set up another session for today.  Did my walk afterwards - It was about 35% better than usual.  Not only that?  I felt so good after my session today that I set up two sessions for next week.

Now keep one thing in mind.  I am a Scot - and really frugal.  I am NOT insured. so apart from getting a senior discount, I am paying the full amount.  I am only putting this in my blog, because I am deeply impressed with this method of treatment.  All I'm trying to say is this - "If you have had a problem for a long time"?  At least THINK about going to an accupuncturist!

I'll answer any questions I get - but this is something that's utterly strange to me - so don't be looking for miracles!

Friday, April 1, 2011


A word of thanks to my contributors like Monica and Belinda - I just hope they continue!

I was deep in the closet, so have very little to go on for posting to this page.  I've been asked if my stories were based on true life.  Just a two word answer to that - "I Wish!"

In all honesty most of the stuff I wrote was strictly from my imagination.  When I needed information I got it from people who were much better versed in what was actually happening than I was.  But writing stories? I did a LOT of that - and thought that how titles were picked might be of interest.

But truthfully?  I have no real idea.  I published a lot with MagsInc - and he often disliked my titles - even changed them a few times.  Some were easy - Dinner with Jasmine - about dinner with a dominant sister.  Easy.  $90,000?  Another easy one.  Maid Machiavelli - another easy one. But one of the best sellers I ever had was "Career Paths May Be Slippery When Wet."  Now?  I don't have a clue where that title came from, nor why it was so popular - but as I don't write any more?  It's no big deal.

BUT, BUT, BUT?  I still read and want to pass on a title of a book I just finished.

I've been a voracious reader for many years - mostly fiction.  I have favorite authors - then favorite books, with my all time favorite being "Out of Africa" by Karen Von Blixen.  Last week, I read a book "Half Broke Horses" by Jeanette Walls.

For some reason, I like books about women who work their asses off.  I'm not talking domination here. In all the thousands of books I've read, I can only remember one book that had passages that REALLY turned me on.  I found the book in a ship's library.  I don't know the title - but it was by Emile Zola.  In it, a step mother makes her step son into a little sissy.  Proceeds to screw him good.  I had all the 'good' passages memorized - but have never been able to find that book again.  Bugger!

But getting back to Half Broke Horses?  I'm not getting a dime for this recommendation - but I thought it was a great book.  (And if you haven't read "Out of Africa?"  Shame on you.- Though the movie was trash).

But I have another 'Hot Button' to write about - though will let it keep for another day)

Hugs to you all.