Saturday, December 23, 2017

Another Pink Xmas

It's been so long since I've posted anything, I almost forgot how to do it.  This is not a new drawing; I did it almost a year ago, not quite in time for Christmas of 2016, but here it is now.  I can't think of anything else to say about it.


Monday, December 18, 2017

Manhattan Marriage

Didn’t realise it’s been so long since I posted something. It’s coming up to Bea’s second anniversary on Christmas Day and he would not be pleased. I thought I had better post something before I get a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past.

I did not have time to write something new so this will have to do, I posted this elsewhere so some readers may have read it before.

The story is not based in the present but in a more elegant period somewhere between the 30’s and 50’s.

Have a good and safe Christmas.


Carrie 




A Manhattan Marriage

By


CarrieP

 The tears came. At first these came as short bursts of sobbing which then quickly progressed to more prolonged weeping. 
 It had been a particularly trying afternoon for William but then again this was now true of every afternoon or to be more precise it was true of every day.
No man should have to go through this torture he said to himself as he dried his eyes avoiding the mirror as he did so although he knew this was ridiculous as he would eventually have to fix his make-up. He finally composed himself and tried to gather his thoughts.
Of course I know I shoulder some responsibility for this dreadful situation. I was far too naive, mesmerised by the glamour and glitter of Sophia’s wealth and position. Yes I was too gullible, he continued to berate himself as he looked down at the full length housecoat of the softest velvet in a most delicate shade of peach and felt another sob rise from within. So foolish, so stupid how could I have been such an idiot.
 These were the thoughts that ran through his head as he looked around the large bathroom of his mother in law’s spacious and elegantly appointed Manhattan apartment. This outpouring of frustration and emotion had become a daily occurrence and like every other aspect of his recent life it seemed powerless to control. Much as he hated to admit it this utter lack emotional control was a particularly feminine quality and one he seemed to be incapable of subduing.
It all happened so fast but how did I allow it get to this stage? he said quietly as he finally plucked up the courage to look at himself in the mirror and recalled the early days of his relationship with mother and daughter.
The van Horne’s were an old and extremely wealthy New York family and mesmerised not only by this wealth but also the social influence of Sophia and her mother he was flattered when he received an invitation to dine with them. He was smitten from the very start and although he felt Mrs van Horne was a little bit overbearing he reasoned this was from the perspective of protecting her daughter from gold diggers and this he thought entirely reasonable. In the subsequent weeks, seduced by their gilded lifestyle, he was inexorably drawn into their orbit. Soon all three became inseparable and it was not long before he was invited to stay with them on a permanent basis. Their luxurious apartment in Manhattan and their large house in the Hamptons made it impossible to refuse and he quickly became used to their opulent way of life. From the beginning Mrs van Horne was very generous to their new companion, fussing over him and lavishing him with expensive gifts as well as opening accounts in the most exclusive stores. He often wondered how he lived without such luxury and not only that but he now had the added bonus of having an attractive woman as a girlfriend. It didn’t take too long before Sophia’s mother made it known that she would welcome him as a son-in-law and also made it abundantly clear he would benefit greatly from a union with her daughter.
It was only now dressed as he was that he realised he should have been more circumspect in this new relationship when he remembered what Mrs van Horne said on one occasion. 
“He is such a darling boy Sophia, not a bit macho or aggressive like those other men you have dated.... and those high cheek bones and delicate features.... there are quite.....
She paused for moment before exclaiming,
“Feminine. It’s almost as if.....
Mother!”  Sophia said brusquely cutting off her mother, giving her a glare for good measure” You’re embarrassing William.”
“Oh I don’t mean to, you’re not embarrassed are you darling?” her mother replied calmly as she acknowledged her daughter s interruption by stroking his face gently.
He was extremely disconcerted by her remarks but was too flustered to say anything. Mrs van Horne continued,
 “ and.....  he has such wonderful possibilities.
Those words should have woken me up. he said to himself bitterly.
 The wedding was hastily arranged and was an extremely low key affair just the three of them and a city hall official as Sophia had to leave for Europe on a prearranged trip for the cultural foundation which the family’s wealth funded. A pathological fear of boats prevented William from accompanying his new bride although looking back on it now he wasn’t sure if he was even asked.
“This is most irregular, a husband should always be at his wife’s side. Seasickness is an extremely poor excuse for not escorting my daughter abroad.” she snorted indignantly when he told her of his phobia and only Sophia’s reasoned argument that she would be unable to concentrate on her mission if she also had to look after him eventually calmed her mother.
“Think of it as a quid pro quo Mother.” Sophia said on the dock as she boarded the liner.
What!” her mother replied sharply.
“Well you’re not losing a daughter you are gaining a son.” Sophia answered.
“Mmm...Quid pro quo, you say.” her mother repeated in a thoughtful voice.
“Perhaps it’s all for the best.” Sophia said to William as she kissed him gently on the cheek “Mummy will need the company when I’m gone and there is so much to arrange for the wedding reception on my return, I’m sure you will be a great help and comfort to her.”
“Don’t worry Sophia.” her mother assured her daughter, William could see her demeanour had changed considerably.“I will take very good care of him as I always do. Isn’t that right William?”
“Yes of course Mrs van Horne.” he answered a little nervously.
“Oh come now, no need to be so formal dear boy, we are family now.” his mother in law said as she slipped her arm under his and drew him close, so close that he could feel the wiring in her large brassiere.”You really must address me as Mummy. That will be part of our quid pro quo, don’t you agree?”
He did not answer but she pulled him sharply to her and arched her eyes in an inquisitorial manner. A reply was expected – the correct reply. He felt extremely uneasy but did not want to cause an argument just as Sophia was leaving.
“Yes ...Mummy.” he said softly.
“Wonderful. I’m so relieved you two are not arguing. ” Sophia chirped as she kissed her mother and climbed the gangway.
“Quid pro quo, dear boy, quid pro quo.” his mother in law said as she led him away.
****************************
 “I thought I should remind you...........” a voice interrupted his recollections. Anna his mother in law’s loyal and trusted maid  appeared, a smile forming at the corner of her mouth, her eyes scornfully scanning the figure in a lady’s housecoat, before belatedly  adding in a tone dripping with mockery “....Sir. Miss Sophia will be telephoning from Paris very shortly.”
He winced at the glaringly obvious expression of ridicule in her voice. Only a few days ago he would berate her, a mere maid, for such insolence but now dressed as he was and knowing that she would report any such outburst to her mistress he knew it was best to ignore her scornful manner and try to maintain some semblance of dignity.
“Thank you Anna” he said trying to sound as authoritative as a man could to whilst wearing his wife’s clothes.
“Would...sir....like some help with his make-up?” the maid asked as she entered the bathroom and unnecessarily rearranged the already neatly folded towels. “Madam will be home shortly and I’m sure she will wonder how your make-up became so smudged.  She went to so much trouble applying it this morning I really think she will not be pleased to find your face in such a state.”
He looked in the mirror and saw she was right, his tears had cause his mascara to run and the tissues he used to dry them had ruined his immaculately made-up face and through the blotches he could see his faint masculine characteristics trying to emerge. His mother in had warned him on several occasions to ensure his make-up was always kept in perfect condition and he knew she would not be pleased to find his face in such disarray. Such was his anxiety about displeasing her he quickly agreed to the maid’s suggestion.
“Yes.... I suppose you are right.” he reluctantly conceded.
The maid smiled as she stood to one side and silently gestured he return to the bedroom and without having to be told he walked to the dressing table holding up the long housecoat so he would not trip.
“As sir will have to dress shortly I think it would save time if you removed your housecoat before I retouch your make-up.” Anna said.
He could not see the point of this request but the last few days dressed as a woman had destroyed his confidence and without questioning her he timidly complied. He unbuttoned the housecoat and she took it from him and placed it in on the bed.
“Is that Madam’s new Dior corselette?” she said as she ran her hands over the heavy black satin material stretched tightly over his buttocks.
His embarrassment and vulnerability prevented him from answering, he could only nod his confirmation. Anna continued “it really gives you such a wonderfully feminine figure but ... if sir will permit me... I think your straps need a little adjustment.”
He remained silent as she turned him around, he could feel her warm breath on his neck and her groin pressing hard into his plump behind as she altered the corselette’s brassiere straps to her satisfaction and then gently stroked his arms. It took him a few seconds to break free of the tight hold she had of him, Anna merely smiled at his feeble attempt to shake off her grip, she finally let him go and he quickly moved to the dressing table.
 “I hope you don’t mind me saying ...sir” she said as she applied the cream to his face “you have such fine features, high cheek bones, full lips, expressive eyes and long lashes. And Madam’s hairdresser told me your hair was a pleasure to work with....that perm really suits you and it only took two hours under the dryer. Maybe next time she will bring you to the salon and you can have your nails done at the same time. ”
He visibly winced but remained silent, this could not possibly be true. He had already done everything Sophia’s mother asked – and more so there was no reason for him to continue to wear women’s clothing.  Anna was so loyal to her mistress he did not want to say what he really felt because he knew this would be immediately reported back and would only antagonise his mother in law. He remained impassive hoping she would discontinue this line of conversation but his reticence only enthused her.
“I mean .. ” she said as she now applied a smokey shade of eye-shadow “...it must make it so much easier for you.” He was afraid to ask what she meant and held his tongue but it didn’t matter as she clearly considered it a rhetorical question. She noticed his reluctance to engage in the conversation and persisted in the one sided exchange.
“Now that you have had a few days wearing such beautiful clothes you probably feel more comfortable in skirts and dresses, and Madam’s gorgeous corselette gives you such a womanly figure you probably will not want to return to wearing men’s boring clothes.  She told me you have been such a great comfort and support to her while Miss Sophia is away she has purchased an entire wardrobe especially for you. She really has such excellent taste in clothes, wait until you see what she has bought for you. You will look simply stunning.”
He could not believe his ears, this was some cruel joke on Anna’s part.
“W..what!”  he almost screamed.
The sound of the phone rang in the bedroom.
“Excuse me sir.” She said unfazed by his outburst and left him with his mouth open “that will probably be Miss Sophia.”
“No, this can’t be true.” he said out loud “I’ve done everything she asked.”He was still trying to process what Anna had said as the maid returned.
“Miss Sophia is on the line from Paris....sir” she said.
At last he said to himself as he gathered the heavy skirts of his housecoat and rushed to the bedroom. Once Sophia hears what I have done to indulge her mother’s wishes she will soon put a stop to this nonsense.
“Hello darling.” Sophia’s husky voice crackled down the phone line “The voyage was quite pleasant, no bad weather and we arrived on schedule. Paris is wonderful, we really must come here on our honeymoon, you and Mother will absolutely love it. She sent me a telegram telling me how marvellous you have been, she is so impressed with you.”
“Oh Sophia...”he interrupted her, his voice almost breaking with emotion “it’s dreadful your mother has kept me in your clothes since the day after you sailed.”
“Calm down darling, don’t get too hysterical.” Sophia said in an unruffled tone “Yes dear, she telephoned me earlier but just as she was about to explain the line broke down, she said something about my wedding gown.”
“Yes..yes.. that’s how it started.” he blurted “your dressmaker wasn’t aware you had left for Europe and arrived the morning after you sailed with several bridal gowns that you wished to try on before deciding which one you preferred. Your mother said she would like to see them modelled before choosing one.”
“Oh that’s right, I trust Mother’s judgement completely she has such wonderful instincts when it comes to these things. She is a ........” his wife said but did not get to finish the sentence .
“She said that as you and I were almost a similar build … and I should.....” he interrupted her, his voice began to quiver and he stifled a tear “...wear them for her. I refused but she and the dressmaker insisted saying time was of the essence and they really must see the gowns modelled before you returned.”
He could no longer hold back the tears and he began weep.
“Your... mother and Anna......”he sobbed “practically ....forced me into one of the gowns”
“Oh darling ...such a brave boy.” she said encouragingly “I know we are a similar build but you are a little bigger than me particularly around the torso....how did...?”
“They.... made me wear...... “he snivelled “....one of your mother corselettes.”
“One of her black Dior ones I suppose or perhaps it was the new Spirella with back lacing?” Sophia asked in a strangely calm tone.
“The Spirella.”he replied “it was horrible they laced me in so tightly, can you telephone her and tell her....”
“Are you still wearing it?” she interrupted him and brushed aside his request.
“No.... she put me in her Dior corselette today, said it would be more comfortable” he answered distractedly then desperately tried to persist with his request he  blurted  “but can you.....”
“Oh that’s better.” she said continuing to ignore his pleading “her Dior is certainly tight and figure reducing but it is more comfortable than the new Spirella. I hated it when she insisted I wear it, it is so constrictive but it does give one a glorious shape, don’t you think?”
This talk of the merits of women’s foundation garments was making him quite agitated.
“Please darling” he began to insist “can you telephone her she wants to keep me in women’s clothes until you return. It is just awful and most humiliating.”
“William I asked you a question.” Sophia said an annoyed tone in her voice.
The last thing he wanted was to make her angry.
“I… suppose so…” he was forced to reply
“Yes they do give a girl a wonderful shape” Sophia said in a reassuring voice, before adding “Darling I know it’s difficult but try to stay calm.You must understand Mother and I are rarely separated, being an only child she and I have an extremely strong bond. Now that you have married me she considers you even closer than a blood relation,  she views you as the second child she never had. Of course the fact that we have- through sheer luck- similar facial features only strengthened this intense emotional connection and when she saw you in the bridal gown she probably saw me. You must know just how emotional mothers get when they see their daughters in bridal gowns.”
“But...”William tried to interrupt but Sophia ignored him and continued,
 “She was terribly upset when she found out I had to leave for Europe and I know she berated you for not coming but deep inside she was glad, your presence meant I was still with her and she took great comfort in that. In our brief conversation she said she could not manage without your phenomenal help and support.”
“But I can be of comfort and support to her without ...without...dressing in your clothes.” he appealed “it is so humiliating having to wear skirts and blouses. She even insists I wear make-up.”
“Of course she does. Every woman wears make-up and I’m sure it makes you more presentable otherwise you would probably look too masculine. ” his wife answered “please darling ....for my sake just indulge her for the time being. I know this is difficult for you darling but you have been absolutely wonderful so far. It’s only for another week or so and it would break her heart if you did stop now. It means so very much to Mother.”
“But ...I...” he began to protest.
Sophia quickly interjected.
 “Don’t forget ......she is extremely generous and you will find you will be greatly rewarded for your kindness.”
“But darling..” he said and suddenly heard a hissing on the line, hitting the cradle with his fingers he frantically exclaimed  “hello  ....hello   Sophia are you there....”
The line went dead.
************************************
 “Good afternoon Madam, shall I take your coat also?” Anna said as she took her mistress’s stole.
“No Anna, I am not staying long I have a meeting with my ladies club. They are simply dying to meet my son-in-law.” Mrs van Horne replied checking her appearance in the hall mirror before turning back to her maid “and how is our protégé progressing?”
“He is a little upset again Madam, he keeps fidgeting with the straps of his corselette, tugging at his garters and I have to remind him to keep his heels on at all times.” Anna answered “I’m afraid he still has not come to terms with his ....his...”
Feminisation?”  Mrs van Horne said “I believe that is the correct term. He is such a darling boy, obviously does not realise he is far too pretty to strut about in pants like most men. Good heavens with skin like porcelain, small waist and those delicate features when he wears pants he looks more like Katherine Hepburn than Humphrey Bogart and the sooner he realises that the better.  He looks so much better in skirts and so much like Sophia, it’s almost like she never left.”
“ Yes Madam, he does seem to lack rugged masculine qualities.” Anna agreed “and  the ...ahem...the .. er.. ...protuberance in his chest area certainly does give him a slightly feminine silhouette.”
“Yes those two small but wonderfully distinct feminine mounds are apparently why he wears – or used to wear- loose fitting shirts.”Mrs van Horne said as she refreshed her lipstick in the mirror “All the more reason he should be wearing a proper brassiere. Don’t you agree Anna?”
“Of course Madam.” her maid concurred “In fact I have noticed his posture has improved since he has been wearing one. And if I may say so Madam, he does have quite shapely legs.....for a man.”
“Yes he does, doesn’t he? And those grey seamed stocking are perfect on him.” Mrs van Horne agreed “And his attitude has improved greatly, he wasn’t as compliant when I first met him, however as he gradually came under my influence and I established my authority over him his manner changed considerably.  It was quite subtle at first of course, he didn’t even know it had happened but after a day or two I knew he would make the perfect male companion for me and an ideal husband for Miss Sophia. You see Anna, society ladies like myself and Miss Sophia require only the outward or superficial presence of a male, but as you know very well, that is exactly what it is – a charade. Males are in fact mere window dressing- trophy husbands for ladies like us. Of course the best way to ensure they do not get ideas about any macho behaviour is to gradually dress them in pretty feminine clothes. This engenders those wonderful qualities of obedience and submissiveness in the male thus making him – as I have said - the perfect companion and husband.”
“I think there is no doubt he will make Madam a most suitable companion.”Anna said “but he does seem a little agitated at the moment. He was crying in the bathroom earlier.”
“Oh that is a good sign Anna.” Mrs van Horne chirped a broad smile spreading across her face “it means he is coming to terms with his new circumstances, albeit reluctantly. It may also mean he has a more feminine streak in him than we thought, after all what kind of man is so easily persuaded into wearing a bridal gown and then his wife’s trousseau.”
“Yes Madam it was wonderful to see his masculinity fade under your persuasive arguments.” Anna said “I just wish Miss Sophia was here to see it.”
“Yes but it will be worth it she will have a perfectly trained wife when she returns in a few weeks.” Mrs van Horne replied. “Now go fetch the dear boy I think he may need some reassurance and his poor masculine ego may need a little massaging.”
***************************
“Ah, there you are ......my beautiful  son-in law.” Mrs van Horne gushed as William perched on his four inch heels minced his way into the drawing room.
“Oh Mrs van.....”he bleated.
“Now, now William.” she gently chided him “I thought we agreed how you should address me. And while you are at it do so in the correct manner that befits ladies of your social standing.”
The young man stopped and hesitated, he could feel another layer of embarrassment envelop him but he knew he would have to comply with her wishes otherwise there would be a prolonged conversation which he would lose anyway. He swallowed hard and saw Anna, who had positioned herself behind her mistress, smile triumphantly. He hated this form of address as much as he hated his new clothes.
“Good afternoon .......Mummy.” he said quietly.
“Can you speak up William, you are not a schoolgirl meeting the headmistress.” his mother –in-law rebuked him.
“Good afternoon ....Mummy.” he repeated in a louder but still meek voice.
“Much better.” Mrs van Horne said approvingly, her voice more gentle now. “Now come and greet me the way we agreed, in a more affectionate manner.”
Hours spent in high heels under Anna’s supervision now became second nature and he moved across the room in a distinctively womanly gait and embraced his mother-in –law, kissing her on the cheek in an unmistakably feminine fashion.
“Now tell Mummy what exactly is upsetting you?”Mrs van Horne asked in her most soothing voice.
“It’s just that.... well....”he said haltingly almost afraid to say the words “....these clothes, Sophia’s clothes....it’s just ....not right ... I mean I should have my....”
“Ah yes my darling I think I understand.” his mother-in- law gently interrupted his babbling “you feel you should have your own clothes to wear.”
“Exactly!” he blurted and   now that he could see she was in good humour, he thought it a good idea to add ingratiate himself to her........“Mummy.”
He could see she was thinking over the idea and he decided to press his case.
“You see Mummy I think I have worn Sophia’s clothes long enough.” he began tentatively as she settled herself on the couch and listened to him intently “I know you miss Sophia and that is very understandable, she is your only daughter after all and I know you feel closer to her when you see me dressed in her clothes but I’m sure I will still remind you of her if I can wear my own clothes.”
He allowed his mother in law to absorb his argument before continuing.
“I will still be the same person and..” he decided to play what he considered to be his trump card “ like Sophia I will always be devoted to you.”
“Of course you are right dear boy, I should have seen it sooner.”Mrs van Horne said “I suppose it was intolerable of me to ask you to wear Sophia’s clothes. I see my mistake now, how foolish of me and thank you for bringing it to my notice. Of course you should have your own clothes.”
William breathed a sigh of relief. At last she understood.
“Tomorrow we will go to the most exclusive stores in New York and buy you an entire wardrobe of new clothes.” she exclaimed excitedly “you can have anything your heart desires, Chanel skirts, Doucet blouses, Schiaparelli and Dior have the most wonderful ball gowns this season. And of course we simply must get you your own lingerie and foundation wear. Sophia and I always go shopping together but I never thought I would be able to do this with you.”
Suddenly he felt a lightness in his head and his legs became weak, he began to tremble at the knees. His mouth opened but no words came out.
“Oh this is the most wonderful news.” his mother-in-law exclaimed in a most excited voice and she stood up and embraced her speechless son-in-law, “and if we have enough time we can get you a new hair-do, oh..yes... and of course your nails, maybe even get your ears pierced.  There is so much to be done, isn’t this thrilling? Oh dear you look pale.... is it all the excitement?”
“I....I.....I think..... I need to sit down.” he spluttered.