Tuesday, July 31, 2012

More Ramblings

I can understand Bea’s feelings regarding a lack of response and it must be frustrating when you put a lot of yourself (stories as well as life experiences) out there and get little feedback but the numbers reading the blog must give a great deal of encouragement.  I’m sure there are many reasons why people don’t post comments. I was a bit reticent  at first and was (still am) in awe of people like Belinda, Monica Graz  whose experiences are for me truly amazing so I felt I may not have much to contribute. But Bea’s idea is that we all have something to contribute and if that helps, excites, informs, entertains, whatever, then so much the better. Plus it will keep him happy and God knows it’s hard to keep him happy.

Don’t know about the rest of you but Marie’s comments about therapy were enlightening for me, as I’ve never been to a therapist, the thought of telling another person of my CD tendencies would scare the shit out of me, client/patient confidentiality notwithstanding. None of us are professional therapists  (if any are please feel free to chip in anytime) but perhaps  our collective experiences should be shared to support  Marie and maybe many like her. Marie said her  previous therapists may not have helped, saying what she was doing was not wrong  but fundamentally  I feel they are right. As Bea said if this new guy works for you then stick with it but  when all is said and done you cannot get rid of it no more than any of us can and if your new guy says you can he’s a charlatan. The fountain of all knowledge aka Bea (he loves that) is right when he said accept your desires you’re not doing any harm to anyone including you I may add. Look at it this way if you went to the doctor and he told you, you or a member of your family had a few months to live, you’d have bigger problems. Not only accept it, embrace it, learn to enjoy it you’re in your mid 50’s, it’s later than you think.

    While my leanings caused me the usual confusion and bouts of shame, I didn’t think about it too much when I wasn’t dressing, so maybe that helped (I  began dressing  in my late teens ) plus I didn’t have many opportunities to dress and I had a lot going on in my life as you do in your 20’s. When I did begin dressing seriously in my 30’s I could rationalise it to myself and accepted it was part of me and I could no more deny it then deny the colour of my eyes. I got very good at compartmentalising.  Probably should mention I was married in my mid 20’s and never told my wife, she only found out about 8 years ago in less than ideal circumstances, probably every CD’s worst case scenario. Too long a story to tell today, maybe some other time. Could have done with your therapist that night Marie as a bottle of vodka was a poor substitute.

In Belinda’s comment to my first post she also only revealed her fantasies to her second wife in her late 50’s. Perhaps I should mention here that while my wife now knows I crossdress she has no idea of my sub, forced fem fantasies. Belinda’s point about meeting other like minded people to help fulfil both ours and their fantasies is well made and the key word she used for me was courage. For me her other point about location is even more relevant. Unless you are very lucky I think  a major urban centre is required for people who are still in the closet to engage in role playing as wonderfully described by Belinda. When I go to  a bar for a few beers to watch a football game  last thing I want to see is the sissy or domme  sitting at the bar smirking at me. So for me the  anonymity of a large urban centre would be vital. Belinda is right when she says social standards are changing but I think that for the foreseeable future large cities will be the only places where CD,TV,TS can engage in such role playing without the fears we(well me anyway) hold regarding exposure.

I really like the story Belinda has going and am intrigued as to where it’s going, it’s a great idea and I hope it’s well supported. Please keep it going for as long as you can.



Anonymous said...

Hi Carrie (and all),

I'm really touched by your comments and appreciate your writing about your own life and experiences. I'm happy to have found this little corner of the web which "feels right" at least for me and I sincerely hope that Bea will feel compelled to keep up with her posting and writing that I enjoy very much. Perhaps I too could be a contributor? I'd be honored.

By the way, I also like Bea's and everyone's fiction too. At the moment I'm enjoying a continuing story on Fictionmania called My Fall to Grace by Lee Anne Montgomery. I published a story there myself some years back under the name Marie Sweet. Last, I also had one published by Reluctant Press (for which I receive zero royalties!). Echoing some of Bea's sentiments, I enjoyed Fictionmania more because of the feedback one can receive there. I prefer being part of a community, which is as we all know, hard to do.

I wonder how you all got in touch with each other. Honestly, I'm harmless but I'd understand if you don't want to touch base. At the risk of excessive spam, I can be reached at: sweetmarie at pacbell.net

I don't check it too often - about once/week, so please understand if my replies come kind of slowly.

Again, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's a pleasure to read them as well as the stories!



Sissy Chrissie said...

If you never tell anyone, you never get to be the person you truly are inside! I know it's scary at first, but when you open yourself up to the world's possibilities, good things can happen. (Of course, they don't always work out...but what in life does?)

And, I, too, adore Bea's stories! Thanks for sharing them.