Marie made some comments that I thought I HAD to answer. I can see the alienation with one's self - hell, I went through it for many years. Frankly though, I tend to disagree with Therapists. I correspond quite often with Carrie and he made the point some weeks back that a lot of us TV.s/ CD's do have a tendency to 'overthink' things - which I totally agree with. Maybe it's because I'm a Scot and frugal? I don't know - but I never believed in spending money on therapists. Please believe me when I say that IF you are feeling the benefit - then just ignore me. BUT? I firmly believe that my whole outlook on myself started when I started work on actually liking myself.
This sounds bloody easy - but it took me years. I wasn't a thief, nor a drug addict. Had some damn good friends that liked me. Honestly liked my wife. Tried like hell to be a good parent to my boys - yet I hated myself, primarily because I wanted to be dressed as a woman.
Think on that. It is DAFT. Probably not much more than that. But I didn't want to harm anybody. Jesus Murphy - probably my worst imagined sin was screwing up my dommes hair! I was NOT a bad person, yet I had a temper that wouldn't quit - but basically because I detested myself.
I don't have any methods that I'd suggest to make you like yourself better. What worked for me was an honest appraisal of what I didn't like about me. Believe it or not? I had a helluva job even identifying what my bad traits were. Logic was playing no part in my self evaluation - just pure emotion.
I'm pretty damned ancient and that was about thirty years ago. But now? I probably drink a dram or two more than I should - but think of myself as a damn nice person. So Marie? Stay with your therapist if he's doing you good. But I sincerely think that self acceptance is the most necessary thing you can do - and that means cleaning your own house of any rubbish. Accept your desires. They may be daft - but they're yours - and you're not doing any harm. Just be bloody thankful that you're not a pedophile.
Christ! Give me a soap box and I'm off to the races.
Here's part 2 of that serial I started last week.