Friday, October 12, 2012
WHAT IF – PART 15
“Wow, Bradley sure has great hands” a glowing Rhonda declared one day returning to the office after her biweekly spa appointment.
“You talking about his nice shampoo, girl?” Louise asked jokingly.
“Oh, I suppose you could call it that – my hair did get wet and his fingers were busy” Rhonda responded.
Everyone in the room knew just what she was talking about.
“Guess hubby’s off the hook tonight, eh?”
“No way, a busy tongue trumps a busy finger every time.”
Laughter filled the room.
The changes in not only the workplace but in the entire community did not all occur without some dissension. Lin Lu knew of four divorces amongst her employees and six separations. She was surprised it was not more. There was also “official” opposition from several stalwart civic groups. The Ladies Garden Club, not surprisingly considering their average age and political bent, complained that the men of the town were becoming “effeminate”, as they called the changes. They were easily taken care of. Lin Lu persuaded the town council to allocate five new areas for public gardens, at Dryfuss Enterprise’s expense, of course, and placed the six male members of the high school Horticultural Club at their disposal for the heavy lifting. None of the Garden Club members objected to these boys’ obvious “effeminate” manner. The straw hats with a pink satin ribbon,
the flowered (appropriately) work gloves, and the red gingham smocks that the boys wore while working fit right in with the prissy ladies’ idea of proper gardening attire. The president of the Garden Club was shocked one Saturday when the wind blew off a boy’s hat while he was planting pansies and revealed the pin curls in his hair. She pretended to be “absolutely mortified” at such a thing but repeated the story over and over while giggling. The boy thought nothing of the event. He had a hot date that evening and his sister had kindly set his hair, expecting it would dry nicely in the hot sun. His girlfriend loved to play with his curls.
The all male Elks Club and Loyal Order of Masons voiced their opposition to the changes occurring in their town. They said it was un-American to see all the sissies around town, both men and boys. There was probably not one of them that ever lent a hand to help their wives do “woman’s work”. If they did, they did not admit it, until now. The real problem with these groups was that membership was declining rapidly. Many of them had been forbidden by their now dominant wives to attend a club that did not admit women. Others made pitiful excuses for not attending the weekly meeting when they called in to say they would be absent. Most had their wives standing next to them when they nervously made the call.
“What in hell is going on in this town?” the president of the Elks roared at one meeting when less than a half of the members had shown up. “Would you like to hear some of the excuses I got? It’ll make you sick.”
He pulled out a small notebook from his coat pocket.
“Sorry Andy, I have a ton of ironing to do” he read. “Can’t make it tonight, Andy, I have to help my wife with her home permanent.” “Not sure I’ll make it tomorrow, Andy, wife needs a dummy to hem her skirts. Ha, ha, I’m the dummy.” The shithead was actually laughing about it!”
“Have all these assholes had their balls cut off? Next thing you know they’ll be showing up wearing a dress. We need to do something about this before it’s too late. And I know who’s behind it all – it’s that damn pinko commie chink bitch that’s taken over Dryfuss. Do you know she has made our good buddy Brad her maid and he actually does women’s hair all day at that damn asylum? There’s even gossip that he’s had his prick cut off, but I don’t believe that. Not our boy Brad.”
Vital to any revolution is intelligence, and Lin Lu was an expert at this. She had spies everywhere and there was little that went on in town that she didn’t know about. And when human spies were not available, hidden microphones did almost as well. So, a week after the honorable Andrew Jackson Snobnose angrily cast aspersions on Lin Lu, she gracefully invited him to lunch at the Dryfuss executive dining room to discuss “affairs of the town”. The rotund president of the Elks never refused a free lunch, especially since word had got out about the fantastic food being served at Dryfuss. Rose and Rhonda also attended. The stuffed partridge was eagerly devoured by Mr. Snobnose and the
After lunch, Lin Lu suggested a tour of the new Dryfuss Enterprises. Being a shrewd businessman, he appreciated the hustle and bustle of the place. But the smiles and obvious happiness of the employees puzzled him. Employees should not be smiling all the time. Certainly they did not in his business. It was mandatory that they always maintained a glum look. He was the owner of the town’s only funeral parlor. He did notice the prominence of women in the management offices then was shocked to see rows of men behind typewriters hammering diligently on the keys. And they looked like a bunch of sissies.
“Like I told you, Mr. Snobnose, things have changed considerably since your last visit here” Lin Lu said.
“Yes, indeed they have” he answered, wondering how she knew he had been here before. He like all the other men, had no idea that Bradley had filmed their activities.
“Now let me show you the, ah, gym, which I understand you visited many times. We have made a few changes there too.”
Snobnose immediately noticed the door to the “gym”. It was now a smoked pink glass with gold trim. As soon as he entered, he began to quiver. The place was a damn beauty salon, he thought. Despite the good food and the fine wine that had lulled him into a state of relaxation, his sensors alerted him to a trap. The room looked girly, it smelled girly, and a woman was seated in front of a giant mirror having curlers put in her hair. This had to be a mistake. The gym that he knew and loved always smelled of sweat, beer, and cigars.
“Did we take a wrong turn?”
“No, not at all, Mr. Snobnose. Don’t you recognize your old buddy Brad?”
Now thoroughly confused he looked around the room but only saw the woman getting her hair done, another under a dryer, and the nicely dressed hairdresser that he thought might be a pretty good lay.
“No, where is he?”
“Bradley dear, come welcome Andy to your spa.”
Brad put down the comb he had in one hand and the roller he had in another and sheepishly turned around to face his old friend. He had never been so humiliated in his life.
“No fucking way! That’s not Brad, what’s going on here?”
“My, my, such language, Mr. Snobnose. And in a woman’s salon at that. You should be ashamed of yourself” Lin Lu admonished the now very shaken man.
“Hi Andy, welcome to my spa” Brad said softly, embracing his friend.
“Get your hands off me, you faggot. Let me out of this loony bin. I’m going to have you shut down” he directed to Lin Lu.
“Oh dear, have we upset you, Mr. Snobnose? And here I was about to suggest that you stay and have a nice shampoo and set and get your nails done too, all on the house. I’m sure Bradley would just love to run his hands through your pretty hair. How about it?”
Lin Lu knew that Snobnose prided himself on his full head of shiny hair. Her intelligence unit found that he had his wife wash his hair with expensive woman’s shampoo three times a week and that he wore a hairnet to bed every night.
“Get the hell out of my way you, you…”
“You pinko commie chink bitch? Is that what you want to say?” Lin Lu asked, the smile and soft manner gone. Snobnose feared the look he saw in her face. And how had she known what he had called her at the Elks meeting?
“I’m leaving” he said, though not as forcibly as his prior remark. He tried to push his way past Lin Lu but was stopped by her surprisingly strong hand on his arm.
“Not so fast. We have business to discuss, fatso. Follow me – now!” she barked at him.
He was too afraid to refuse and followed her to the conference room, where Rose and Rhonda awaited them. He felt like a schoolboy being led to the principal’s office for some infraction.
“Sit down” Lin Lu ordered, pointing to a chair around the large oval table.
“I don’t have anything to discuss with you, miss, unless you’re in the market for a casket that I would be more than happy to put you in” he said, summoning the last ounce of courage he had. “And my name is Mister Snobnose, not fatso.”
“Oh my girls, the old fart does have balls, though I suspect they might be a little swollen right now” Lin Lu said and all three women laughed.
“Nice try, fatso. Lets get down to work. On behalf of a large group of women in town, we object to you keeping them from joining your fine club. We are going to change that. At your next meeting, which I believe is scheduled for this Thursday at seven-thirty, you will appoint Mrs. Jacobs here as Vice-President. You may remain as president, for now. Mrs. Jacobs will bring along several other women who will be admitted as members. I understand you have been concerned with declining membership so this will help you out, right? Any questions, fatso?”
“You’re out of your mind. And I told you not to call me fatso, you bitch” he shouted as he rose from his chair.
Rose was prepared for this and quickly grabbed his shoulders from behind and forced him back down.
“We’re not finished, fatso” she said to his face while reaching down to grip his balls. This time he could not keep from screaming. “I do not appreciate the way you are talking to my boss. Apologize?”
“Fu…” he tried to say but Rose squeezed even harder, making his eyes roll back in pain.
“I’m waiting” Rose said.
“I, ah, I’m, ah, sorry, Miss Lu. Aagh, please stop, you’re killing me” he pleaded.
At a nod from her husband, Rose loosened her grip.
“So, are we ready to proceed with my suggestion?” Lin Lu asked.
“There’s no f…, ah, way women can join the Elks. I have no control over it. It’s in the national charter. It’s for men only.”
“I suggest you find a way, fatso. And just to give you a little encouragement, watch this.”
Rhonda placed some type of control panel on the table. With the touch of a few buttons, the lights in the room dimmed, a white screen descended from the ceiling, and a picture appeared. The quality of the picture was not great but Snobnose had no problem identifying himself. He was naked, lying on his back on a massage table with a topless voluptuous woman bending over him.
“I never knew you were a movie star, Mr. Snobnose” Lin Lu teased. “Roll ‘em, Rhonda.”
With another touch of a button, the screen became alive. The young lady was trying to give Snobnose a hand job but was having difficulty.
“Hurry up, bitch, I haven’t got all evening” Snobnose snarled.
“Sorry, sir, I just can’t get my full hand around it. I’m trying to do it with just two fingers. It is, well, ah, kinda small.”
The women in the room giggled at this comment.
“Then use your damn mouth!”
“Yes sir, I’ll try.”
The screen showed the girl bend down and put her head over his crotch. It was obvious that she was not going to deep throat him. There was no bobbing of her head. She just put her lips around him and sucked. Snobnose came in only a few minutes.
“Wow” the girl could be heard saying, “you must be the fastest gun I the West, sir” as she raised her head and wiped her arm across her mouth.
Snobnose obviously did not like this comment. His wife constantly complained about his premature ejaculations. He reached up and slapped her breasts several times. The poor masseuse just stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Rhonda shut off the film, stood up, walked to the frozen Snobnose and slapped him across the face several times. She then spit in his face.
“You may leave now, Mr. Snobnose. We’ll see you on Thursday” Rhonda said to him politely. ‘Unless you’d like your wife to see you in the movies.”
Snobnose sat for several minutes silent. Finally, he stood up and walked out with his head down. The ladies noted that his pants were wet.
And so the Elks were integrated, at least in this small town. Snobnose was too afraid to notify the national office of this rule violation, fully aware of the consequences. He knew most of the male members would not object. Many of them too had become movie stars at the Dryfuss Enterprises gym. The new agendas for Elk meetings listed events like “Embroidery for Wives and Husbands”, “How to do perfect laundry and ironing – Men Only”, “Nail Care for Men & Women” and the very popular “How to create the best quiche – Men Only”.
The integration of the Rotary Club proved to be much easier. Their president also liked to be in the movies with just a little twist from most of the other films that Bradley had in his archives. This former college football star liked the finer things in life. Live and in color, he appeared walking across the gym wearing a pink slip, high heels, and a big pink bow in his hair. He walked hand in hand with another nubile girl, who was totally nude except for a strap around her waist. They approached the massage table and he, obviously very familiar with this routine, bent over the top. She ran her hands across the soft silk until she lifted the bottom of the slip and draped it across his back. Now the ruffled pink panties were quite obvious. She played with these for a while then pulled them down. She picked up a small tube off the table and squeezed the contents onto her hand. Looking from her back she appeared to be wiping her hands on her crotch. She squeezed the tube again and stuck two fingers into the man’s rectum. Then she turned briefly to reveal that she was wearing a large, black strap-on.
The man plaintively said, “Please no, Mommy, I’ll be good.”
“Too late, you bad boy” she replied and then pushed the dildo completely inside him in one trust.
After ten minutes of repeated trusts his body went rigid then relaxed a few seconds later. The deed was done.
It did not take long to “convert” him. After appointing a woman as his replacement as president, he resigned from the Rotary Club. He was also persuaded to resign his position as head coach of the high school football team, where he also taught math. Since there was no chance of receiving any references, he had no choice but to join the cleaning staff at Dryfuss. His wife made good use of his new found talents to keep their house spotless.
Lin Lu was riding high from her two conquests. She focused her attention on her greatest adversary – the pastor of the Holy Roller Baptist Church.