Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A Feedback of Interest

Guess I got through to at least one person.  Carrie wrote me the following:

Hiya Bea, it's a great blog so please don't get discouraged because of lack of feedback, I think a lot of people read it but don't feel they can contribute a great deal. If you're looking for an issue to discuss for people like us, here's one that affects me and more than likely others as well. My wife knows about my crossdressing and is ok about it - we often joke about it- but she has never seen me dressed and I'm sure she probably doesn't want to. But lately I've been thinking I'd like to show her my other self and have even thought of just doing it without warning and let the cards fall where they may.Has anyone else had a similar issue and if so how did they resolve it.
Keep up the good work.


A very interesting point.  As a matter of fact, I told my wife to be of my proclivities before I proposed.  To be honest, I don't think that either of us knew what was going to be involved.  She never wanted to participate in my fantasies, so we had a 'straight' hetero marriage.  Produced two kids. 

Sometimes she'd go along with me a little bit - but her heart really wasn't in it and I wasn't satisfied.  Masturbated a lot.  Then when my kids were old enough to understand that they NEVER came into our bedroom I plucked up my courage and bought a black nylon nightgown.  Put it on one night.  My wife was pretty shocked - but at least I was sensible enough to stay away from requesting any of my fantasies - and that helped a lot.

My kids grew and left.  Before this happened I was wearing panties almost all of the time and wore nightwear regularly.  When the kids left for good I wore more feminine wear more often - but I had learned never to ask my wife to partake in my fantasies.

Let me break in with one thing here.  It sounds stupid, but I'd always considered myself as nothing more or less than a transvestite.  The thing is?  I'm a male submissive (luckily submissive to women only).  Being dressed up was a humiliation for me - not really anything else.  Being dressed as a maid was probably my ultimate.  BUT?  I have a distinct male persona.  Look male, act male.  Have a good temper and not afraid to lose it.  Enjoy a good dirty joke - and enjoy my booze.  My wife is a feminine woman.  She married me for my obvious traits - little realizing what I wanted sexually.  At the same time, when it dawned on me what I actually was?  I told her - and she laughed uproariously.  What I wanted from her did NOT fit in with her image of me.  (This I have found out to be vastly important in any kind of human relationship.  You act against someone's opinion of what you are?  Some trouble is on the horizon).

Anyway?  My wife and I are married for a LONG time.  Up until a few years ago, I had closets full of (mostly) nightwear and lingerie.  When you're married a long time, you start being a pain in the ass to buy presents for.  I think that my wife quite liked this aspect - she could buy for two sexes.

I developed prostate cancer some years back.  It is not dangerous at my age as long as it's controlled - but the control is an injection that totally eliminates your sex drive - which is why I quit writing.  My drive was my 'engine'.  Without it, there wasn't any fun in it.  I don't dress any more either.  No fun.

But to finish?  That response from Carrie was exactly the kind of thing I felt can make this blog interesting.  Some more please?


OT said...

Interesting from both of you IMO. Let me start by saying how much I love your stories and how I wish there were more Bea.
I was very lucky in that my wife knew about my dressing before we met through a mutual friend who I had told just before career etc etc pushed me back into the closet. There was therefore no need for the "err, guess what that big lunk you married turns out to be a right nancy".

Since your better half already knows why not go gradual- introduce some androgynous tops- then some jeans with a bit of embroidery etc etc. That way you'll let her see the closet door openning and give her the chance to give you some feedback.

I know disinterested tolerance is not what we are after but its a damn sight better than hostility. It is a mystery to me why people feel threatened by the likes of us but experience tells me that they certainly do. My advice, take it slow.

jami said...

I told my wife of my "habit" before we married. It was not exactly what she wanted in a man, but we have been happily married for 13 years now.

Gradually she has come to accept my wearing panties full time and sleeping in a nightgown. She will not, however, participate in my fantasies (which are very similar to yours, Bea). She will go lingerie shopping with me and actually bought me a dress for a birthday a few years back, but does not want to see me completely dressed, which I do only when she not at home.

We have reached a happy medium for which I am grateful While it may not fulfill my ultimate fantasies of dominance and humiliation, it may be better to keep those as fantasies. Sometimes reality does not come up to the expectations one fantasizes about.

Sissy Chrissie said...

Let me echo the praise and thanks for your stories, Bea.

The first time my wife and I met, I was completely crossdressed in a tg club, so there was no doubt from the very beginning as to who and what I am. It started out great.

I wore bridal lingerie to the ceremony. On our wedding night I was the one giving it up to her.

Our honeymoon was blissful. The only time I wore anything male was if we went to a formal restaurant. I came back with the most delicious tan lines from my bikini.

Unfortunately it made no real difference. She outgrew her interest in sissy/tg girls, and wanted me to be a man - and not just for the kids, for her.

I've gone back to wearing panties and getting my body waxed, but it's not an easy time at home...