Saturday, January 2, 2016

Bea- Very Sad News

Sad to inform readers of Bea’s blog that the man himself has passed away, he died peacefully at home on Christmas Day. He’d had ongoing health problems for several years which intensified in recent times. I think his last post was a Christmas greeting in 2014 and the spring of 2015 he had a major health scare and had to be hospitalised but tough old Scot that he was made a good recovery and was able to take a short cruise with his wife in September, he even made a round trip of several hundred miles to spend Thanksgiving with one of his sons.

Sadly after that trip he began to deteriorate once more and he was finding it harder and harder to rally.  In early December his health began to fail at a much faster rate and his doctor confirmed what he probably already knew- time was running out.

I last spoke to him about three weeks ago and while his voice was weaker than the previous week, as always he was still very keen to talk even though it was plainly uncomfortable for him to do so. I promised his wife I would only stay on the line for five minutes, thirty minutes later I had to beg him to hang up. Thankfully his wife is a very understanding woman who knew exactly what to expect once he got involved in a conversation. He just didn’t want to hang up and it was the same with his will to live.

Bea was a very shrewd and intelligent man with a wonderful ability to call it as he saw it, he would never have made it in the diplomat corps as he had an inbuilt detector which could quickly identify a bullshitter. His honesty and straightforwardness were some of his best and most endearing qualities. Of course he wasn’t a saint, he could be extremely blunt and didn’t suffer fools gladly, when he replied to my first e mail I was taken aback by what I thought was the brusqueness of his language and felt he did not want to engage so I didn’t reply. A few days later I got another equally sharp and direct mail asking why I didn’t respond to his reply. That started weekly correspondence and phone conversations which lasted eight years.

Some readers of and contributors to this blog knew him far better than me and I know several stayed with him at his home in southern California. He left Scotland in his early 20’s but Scotland never left him and he still retained his strong working class Glaswegian accent, behind that gruff exterior was an incredibly decent human being.

He was generous enough to give away many of his stories on his website, something I and many others I’m sure were grateful for, and he was equally generous with his time and advice (whether you wanted it or not). I suppose his stories are how readers of this blog came to know him but he was far more than a talented and prolific author of forced femme stories. Husband, father, grandfather, volunteer in many areas of his local community and much more besides as well as a friend to those who struggled in coming to terms with being a crossdresser – the reason he started this blog in the first place.

Remember him in your thoughts.

I’ll miss him.



Anonymous said...

At the house of mourning Bea
Please accept the expression of my deepest sympathy. I highly respected the deceased. Bea was an outstanding writer. I share your pain.

"Separation is our lot, goodbye is our hope.
So bitter is death, the love he can`t divorce.
From the life although he is divorced,
but not out of our lives;
because as our being able to imagine him dead,
the so alive our
Heart dwells!"

Thanks for your Carrie soothing words. You were a good friend of Bea.

A reader from Germany

Anonymous said...

I've enjoyed Bea's stories for years. Condolences to his family.

rocketdave said...

That's very sad news, albeit hardly surprising, honestly. After reading more than I needed to know concerning his deteriorating health these past several years, I'm sort of surprised Bea stuck around as long as he did. I regret not staying in touch with him more, but it seems like every time I'd try, it was never a great time, as he'd usually have some new heath woes to report, which was always depressing. As difficult as it was for me to read about, however, it goes without saying that it must have been many times less fun for him to experience first hand. I was painfully conscious of the fact that every email I got from him might very well be the last.

I've known Bea on and off for over eleven years now, but I was never anywhere near as close to him as you and he were, Carrie. We never spoke on the phone, for one thing. The last time we corresponded was just over ten months ago. Your name came up at the time, Carrie- he mentioned how you two had developed a genuine friendship and that he considered you to be a great person.

Having been on the receiving end, I can personally attest to Bea's aforementioned bluntness. In our second-to-last exchange, I brought up some relatively recent opportunities that had been presented to me to do comics for a couple different adult sites. It was exciting, but scary at the same time, as I was afraid I wasn't up to the challenge. Privately, I think I was hoping for some words of encouragement. Unfortunately, though I don't believe he was intending to bruise my ego, Bea's somewhat pessimistic view of my ability to tackle a large project was definitely not the response I was looking for. Maybe he was right, or maybe his words were all the excuse I needed to not even try, since I never did follow up on the offers I got from either of those sites. Either way, I'm sorry to say that that experience did not exactly motivate me to write Bea more frequently.

Okay, that one sour note aside, my interactions with Bea have been mostly positive and I feel like I'm better off for having known him.

I was actually considering sending him an email recently and maybe trying to mooch a couple stories off him that I still hadn't read. It being the holiday season, it felt like an obvious occasion to touch base. I couldn't decide if I had anything worth writing him about, though. Even if I had managed to shoot him an email by Christmas, it would have been too late anyway.

I think I was always a little shy of Bea, like I am with most people. He was always really nice about giving me free stories when I'd ask, even though I was always nervous about taking advantage of his generosity (especially when his health started to go downhill) and therefore still have yet to read every one of his tales. Once I paid for one of his stories in spite of his kind offer to give me stories whenever I wanted, just because I hated to bother him. I usually considered his stuff to be worth the money anyway. He was by far my favorite author of forced feminization fiction and still ranks among my favorites today. He was certainly the most prolific. That doesn't mean that I can't find things to criticize about his writing, but I might not even be into this fetish now if I hadn't stumbled upon his work. As I've said in the past, it can be tough to find stories that push the right buttons for me, but Bea's stuff did, much more often than not.

Aside from the pleasure I got from his writing, I owe quite a bit to Bea. If he hadn't displayed some of my art on his website, it wouldn't have caught the notice of an author with Sandy Thomas, for whom I've illustrated several books. Even if Bea and I weren't as close as we could have been and even if I haven't been rereading his stories as faithfully and as ardently as I once did when it was all new to me, it's impossible to deny that he had a noticeable impact on my life.

elnetty said...

I miss BEA and I'm in deep mourning. Bea has written her storie Swiss Miss Sissy for me.

Anonymous said...

Really sad to hear this. Bea was such a big part of coming to terms with me and was always so friendly and helpful. Hopefully heaven is a kinder place.

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed his stories for years.

Even though I never communicated with him, his passing feels like losing a friend.

For those who were close to him, I am sorry for your loss.

L.G. said...

I never had any direct contact with Bea but it was his wonderful stories that attracted me to follow TV fiction more closely than ever before. Some of his work ("Maid Machiavelli" comes immediately to mind) have made a lasting impression on me, and no doubt on many others. Condolences to his family and to all his friends, and we can only hope that he did not suffer too much in his final illness.
With gratitude, L.G.

hopplewite said...

As a novice to the internet in 97/98 one of the very first stories I came across was "Dinner with Jasmine" and it is still one of my favorites. It showed me a world where I was not alone.

I shall miss Bea and his story telling. My condolences to his family.


Anonymous said...

A real loss to the community. "Power, power, who's got the power" is one of my all time favorites. You will be missed!

Kylie said...

I never got to know Bea personally, but as a forced femme writer,I owe Bea so much. The one nice thing about being a writer is you put part of yourself in your stories and they outlast us.

Anonymous said...

It is a really sad news. I will miss him so much!

sissymaid colette

Anonymous said...

I echo the comments of others. I enjoyed reading Bea's stories over the years and his contributions will be sorely missed. R. I. P. Bea.


Karen said...

A sad loss to our community. Though I never was in direct contace with Bea, I shall miss his stories of which I have saved a large collection on my hard disk. He will live on through his stories and I, for one, will miss his writing.

Rosie Petals said...

Being a closet transvestite is, at first, a sexual thing. Then, after the passion is spent, being a closet transvestite is often a self-loathing thing. Mostly, being a closet transvestite is a lonely thing.

Growing up, I was soon faced with the realization that I was not being turned on by things I should have been turned on – by normal things which excited normal boys. I learned to keep my mouth shut about it and not ask too many questions lest I should give away my terrible secret.

Then came the internet. All of the sudden I could, without having to give up my identity, find out all I ever wanted to about transvestitism, cross-dressing and transgender-ism, and learn that it, in fact, affected a good deal of the male population, and that I wasn’t mentally ill because I wanted to dress up in pretty clothes. But most importantly, on the internet, I could really explore the erotic, and the sexual aspect of cross-dressing. While I did enjoy reading through the majority of the hundreds of trans-fiction stories, there was always one bit that I did not enjoy – reading about sex with men. But I figured, that’s life, looks like that’s what turns other transvestites on.

Until I came upon Bea’s stories. For the first time, I could enjoy a story without feeling “dirty” afterwards for reading things I didn’t want to read. Bea was a prolific writer and – while it was always very exciting – her stories frequently went beyond frilly dresses and sheer physical dominance by the women.

Our contact started when I approached Bea with a story I’d written. Since then, Bea helpfully hosted my stories on her websites. By encouraging me to write, Bea taught me that fiction can be what you make of it – instead of suffering through descriptions of sex acts I didn’t like, I could just as well write my own stories.

As our correspondence progressed, Bea taught me that reality, too, can be what you make of it. Instead of suffering the guilt and self-loathing, I could just as well accept who I was and stop beating myself up about it.

While cross dressing was pretty much the central topic of our letters, Bea also dispensed advice, and shared her experience, on a myriad of other subjects. And no matter how inanely I rambled on in my own emails to Bea, Bea’s response was always the same: How bloody wonderful to hear from you, Rose!

It was bloody wonderful to hear from Bea, too.

It’s bloody awful we’ll never read from her again.

Anonymous said...

I really loved the stories on this site so sad to hear this news.