In one week, it'll not only be Christmas, sadly enough, it'll also be the one year anniversary of the loss of Bea. It doesn't feel right to let that date go by without making note of it, though I'm not sure I have much of anything new to say about Bea that I didn't already say in my deviantART journal a year ago or my response to Carrie's original post. The bottom line is, overall, I feel fortunate to have known Bea; he provided me with many hours of entertainment and had a discernible positive impact on my life.
I've done what I can to try to help keep Bea's memory and blog alive. Lately, that's mainly been through posting Bambi's sequel to Bea's story "Swiss Miss Sissy," though it's been made difficult because Bambi hasn't supplied me with any new completed chapters all year. In fact, I haven't heard from Bambi for eight months. I didn't start to see this as a potential cause for alarm until November when I thought it would be a good idea to touch base with Bambi, and he failed to respond to any of the emails I sent.
A quick side note: I often bend over backwards to avoid using gender-specific pronouns when it comes to people steeped in the crossdressing fetish if I don't know what their preference is, but in order to avoid a headache, I'm just going to refer to Bambi as "he" in this blog post, the same as I do with Bea.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. Bambi was ignoring my emails earlier this year, to the point where I was on the verge of writing a blog post very similar to this one when he finally wrote back, promising that he wouldn't make me worry like that again, even if he had no new updates on the story. The fact that he hasn't kept that promise gives me a fresh reason to feel uneasy.
I've made it clear to Bambi on multiple occasions that I'm not pressuring him to write faster. As an artist, I fully understand that real life can impede creativity and that muses can be fickle. At the moment, I'm simply more concerned about his well being.
As for "Swiss Miss Sissy," however, I can't overlook that I am in a bit of a quandary if communication between Bambi and myself is not reestablished. There are a few more finished chapters that I could post, but I've held back on doing so for a very good reason. Bambi was not writing entirely in order and there is a sizable gap in between the last chapter I posted and the remaining ones.
I honestly don't believe that skipping over the chapters that have yet to be written would cause any major confusion (they were the first ones that I read and I had no problem following what was going on), but it's still not an ideal way to be posting the story or for you to be reading it. This is actually something I discussed with Bambi back in April and he didn't think it was ideal then either, but told me to do whatever I felt was best.
I don't know what the right thing to do is in this situation. It might not be fair to Bambi to give up on him and post his chapters prematurely, but it also doesn't feel fair to readers to force them to continue to wait indefinitely for an update that may never come. How much time should go by before I decide that everyone has waited long enough? If I just knew what had happened to Bambi, I wouldn't be wrestling with this decision.
I hate to sound as though I'm impatient to get on with posting the rest of the story or that I've completely lost hope of getting word from Bambi. On the other hand, something else to consider is that if something unfortunate- god forbid- has befallen Bambi, then I'm the only person to be in possession of this story. If something happens to me, then the last of the finished chapters of "Swiss Miss Sissy" could be lost forever. It's not like I'm anticipating going anywhere anytime soon, but Bambi's mysterious disappearance demonstrates the unpredictability of life and Bea's death demonstrates that none of us is around forever. Gee whiz, that's a cheery thought for this festive season.
If the blog’s readers have any opinions on what I should do- A) wait and
hope that Bambi eventually returns and completes the story so that it may be
posted in its proper sequence or B) just post the remaining finished chapters
now- this would be a good time to make your voices heard.
Bambi, if you're reading this and unable to focus on the story at this time, don't worry about it, but it would be a relief to hear from you.
Happy Holidays.
10 comments:
Really sorry to hear of the death of Monica...Bea-or whatever names s/he chose to go by.
A great writer, and so free with her talents...God Bless and keep her, and all of you who are keeping this joyful site and stories alive.
Thank you for your thoughts Alicia. Monica is a contributor to this blog, but as far as I know, that's not a name Bea ever used for himself. You might be thinking of his alternate pen name, Maureen Glasgow.
Don't hesitate and publish the chapters you have, please. I can't stand the tension of last chapter cliffhanger.
A lesson for all bloggers and authors. Have someone send a message if you die !
We get involved in your stories and therefore worry about YOU when you drop off the edge of the world. Have an outline available that can be sent out for anyone who cares enough to finish it. If reasonable.
Well, I don't exactly have an outline, but Bambi had been writing bits and pieces of future chapters. Some dialogue here, a paragraph there, etc. Bambi had a number of adventures still in store for Cheryl. I'm not up to the task, but if necessary, it might be possible for some skilled author who would be willing to keep the story going just for the love of it to salvage something from those scraps. I really hope it doesn't come to that, however.
As this story's self-appointed "curator" I don't want to have to think about handing the reigns over to someone else. I'm aware that it's been a while, but I am not willing to write off Bambi just yet. It's true that Bambi continued the story from where Bea left off and that Bea may have had some help writing the original six chapters, but at this point, I think of the story as Bambi's more than anyone else's.
Anyway, I have made up my mind to post the remaining chapters that Bambi had completed, so stay tuned.
Maybe next time I will read the blog fully before I open my mouth and comment. First, make a will, everyone. Do not leave a big mess behind. In the will make plans for your blog.
Bea made it plain that his medical issues had caused him to lose interest in the blog well before he actually passed away. While it was pretty obvious he was nearing the end of his life, it's fortunate he and Carrie were so close or else we might have been left to wonder what had become of him. Since he made several people contributors to this blog, I'm no sure what else Bea could have done to keep it going, unless there was a way to put someone in charge, like by giving them his email password.
It would be great if everyone online could have someone post the news if something bad happens to you, but when you're talking about someone who is writing a kinky hardcore erotica story, that's maybe not something you're eager for your loved ones to find out about after you're gone.
I actually tried to make arrangements for Swiss Miss Sissy to continue if I disappeared for some reason. I asked if it would be okay if Carrie carried on posting Bambi's story if they stopped hearing from me. It's not that I was even anticipating anything happening; I just wanted to be prepared, but I ended up just freaking out both Carrie and Bambi with that suggestion.
Anyone know how his widow is doing?
Carrie would. They've kept in touch. She misses him, of course, but at the same time is aware that if he'd lived, the pain he was in would have been intolerable.
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