A friend of mine recently published a feminization story and I gave them permission to use one of my old drawings for a cover. When they asked what name I should be credited under, I said that it didn't matter and that they might as well just use my actual name. More on that topic a bit.
Surprisingly, despite knowing them for a few years, I had no clue that my friend had any interest in the feminization genre. In fact, I was embarrassed that they were aware that I draw art of that nature. They probably wouldn't object if I gave their story a plug, so if you feel like checking it out, it's on Amazon under the title Girls Night: An Erotic Adventure.
Am I the only one who's noticed that if you click on the Smashwords link at the top of this blog, Bea's books no longer appear to be available on that site? I have no idea if their removal has something to do with the fact that Bea is no longer around to maintain his account there or if there's some other reason.
A lot of Bea's stories can still be obtained via Mags Inc, though they're pricier and I'm fairly certain they don't have all the same ones. I know for a fact that they don't have all the stories that were once for sale on either of Bea's old websites. I'm lucky to have a sizable collection of Bea's stories saved, but now that he's gone, I'm sad knowing that there are some that I may never have the opportunity to read... unless there are fans out there who feel like sharing. I remember there was one called "A Full Time Student" I was curious about. While it may be a long shot, if anyone reading this happens to have that one, I'd be grateful if they got in touch.
Bea very kindly offered to send me any of his longer stories for free whenever I asked. While I got a number of stories that way, I regret that I didn't take him up on that offer as much as I would have liked because I didn't want to seem like I was taking advantage of his generosity, plus I didn't like to disturb him, especially knowing that his health was not good. Once, I paid for a story, stupidly thinking he wouldn't notice somehow, but he sent me an annoyed note about it afterward.
Some of Bea's books can be found under the pennames Maureen Glasgow and Tiffany Mellis, but I've forgotten if there was a reason for using alternate nom de plumes for certain stories. I've used multiple aliases online over the years, but that's partly because I've had difficulty coming up with a name I'm comfortable with. I'm happiest with rocketdave. I have a lot of regret about picking out the stupid username rocketXpert for the deviantaART account I reserved for my fetishistic art, but it feels too late to change now, as much as I might like to.
When I did illustrations for Sandy Thomas, it was under the name Debbie... just Debbie, because I couldn't think of a good last name. It was only within the past few months, over a decade too late, that I hit upon what I thought was a perfect last name that I'd really like to find an excuse to use, but I worry about diluting my brand even further than I already have if I were to switch names again.
It almost seems like it doesn't matter what name I go by since I've done such a poor job protecting my anonymity. I partly blame Bea for that. When I gave him permission to put some of my art on his site, he credited me by my actual name, even though he probably should have consulted me about that first. Of course, it's also partly my own damn fault for signing my art, since I'd had it drilled into my head that that's something I should always do. The people who advised that probably weren't considering that maybe I would do some art that I didn't necessarily want my name attached to.
During my earliest correspondence with Bea, because I hadn't identified myself, he tried out a couple random girls' names on me, which I felt a little weird about, and I replied that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to go by a feminine name, but if I ever did, I thought Debbie would be appropriate, since it kind of sounded like my initials, D.B. In his response, an exasperated Bea wrote, "What a fuss about a bloody name!"
Incidentally, this piece, titled "The Feminine Mystique," is the one my friend used for the cover of their story. It's kind of a coincidence that they'd ask about this particular drawing when they did since I had started taking steps towards redoing it. That's not to say that I think the original is bad. A lot of my older art I can't stand to look at, but this one I think retains its charm. However, my style has improved, and I thought it would be interesting to redo some of my old art (plus it saves me from having to rack my brains for new ideas).
You know, I used to rankle a little at Bea referring to my drawings as "cartoons," which may seem odd since I love cartoons, plus my art can certainly be cartoony, though that hasn't always been a deliberate choice. In the case of some of my earlier work, I was just doing the best I could at the time.
